by Pamela Mertz, PCC, CPCC Director of Education, CCNI
Comforting One Another 1 Thess 4:18; 2 Cor 1:3-7
When coaching, we are tasked with tending to our client’s comfort. This seems like a simple task, and a commonsense concept, but if overlooked, can affect the client’s outcomes and progress.
What does this look like, practically speaking? Comfort can be physical, psychological, emotional, mental and spiritual. By being aware of these spaces where comfort is a component of the client’s experience, we can ensure that clients feel safe and trust is established and fortified.
Physically, what does your coaching environment look like, sound like and connect with your client? If you are in person, is the space quiet, private, and have limited distractions? On Zoom, you can adjust your camera to ensure that you are eye to eye with your client and assure them that you are in private setting. If you need to, you can use headphones or earbuds to make sure your client’s words are private for just you to hear.
Psychological safety is key for clients to be able to really open up, explore freely, and expand their mindset without fear or concern of judgement or perceptions from you, their coach. By tending to your own presence, and make sure that you are being attentive with them and their needs. This is making sure that you regulate your own emotions, maintain a safe space with your tone of voice and facial expressions as your clients can share things that are sensitive or difficult for them. Empathy goes a long way in these spaces, by being present, and stating things like, “that sounds hard”, or “this must be difficult for you”. While you stay neutral and present, these statements can express empathy and comfort for them while they are delving deeply into topics that can bring them great freedom.
As you are a comforting presence with your clients in emotional spaces, this includes regulating your own state of being. Show up rested, settled and able to be fully present so that your own daily life situations do not “leak” into your coaching sessions. This is key for clients to feel safe, and trust you with their circumstances, their struggles and even fears. While coaching in not therapy, it can be very therapeutic at times. And clients need to feel safe and comfortable to be able to dare risk sharing some difficult things at times.
Spiritually, as a Christian coach, you can comfort clients when they are experiencing high emotions, sharing hard things, and walking through difficult circumstances in any area of their life. Praying is a wonderful way to provide comfort, being with them, and (after asking permission) praying for them in the moment. I have done this when a client was experiencing some significant emotions and escalating in intensity. It can sound like, “This is a very intense topic for you. Would you be okay if I paused us and prayed for you right now?” or – “What might God have to say about this? Would it be okay to pause and ask Hm?” Praying before a coaching session is important for yourself, to prepare your heart for each coaching session. Asking permission to begin with prayer, even asking if they would like to pray can also bring comfort and even the Comforter Himself into the coaching session in a tangible, conscious way. Often when my clients opt to pray, they set up their agenda items with God in that prayer time. Pay attention to what they are seeking from Him, as this can help cue you in to their agenda for the call.
How might you adjust your next coaching session to be more aware of your client’s comfort?
What might this add to your client’s experience as you do so?
Pamela Mertz, CPCC, PCC is passionate about Christian coaching and loves sharing how God continues to show her how impactful it is for the world! She works with many Christian coaches around the globe through her roles at Promised Land Living, Professional Christian Coaching Institute and CCNI as Board Secretary. For more information about Pamela you can visit her website at www.blueprintlife.com
