In Which Direction Are Your Commitments Taking You

Do your commitments mirror your convictions? As Stephen Gregg, Chairman and CEO of Ethix Cooperation, points out, your commitment is displayed in many ways, from the work hours you maintain and how you improve your abilities to what you are willing to do for your fellow workers at a personal sacrifice.

Steadfast commitment is not the same as over-committing. “Nothing in this life worth achieving is easy” (James Murry). Living on purpose and for purpose is a life-long journey that cannot be hurried. Over-committing in different directions will prevent you from discovering your purpose, and once you have found it, it will pull you away from it. Here’s a coaching conversation that illustrates this point:

After listening to a client talk about what’s going on in her life:

Me: What direction are your commitments taking you?

Client: Honestly, I say yes to a lot of good things that pull me in different directions.

Me: What’s that telling you?

Client: I need to become more intentional about what I commit to.

Me: How will you make that happen?

Client: I will stop and ask myself – Am I doing this in — keeping with my — purpose? 

The client returned the following week, saying she had turned down several commitments. When I asked her what she learned from the experience, she said, “I finally came to realise that I say yes because I want to please people, but by saying yes to everyone, I am often spread too thin and unable to follow through well, or in some instances, I begin to feel resentful because it’s stopping me from doing something I know I really should be doing. I went back and cancelled three big commitments. Saying no to things I had already agreed to wasn’t easy, but by saying, I am sorry, I can’t follow through on this right now, I was owning up to the fact that I had overcommitted. Moving forward, if I keep asking if I am doing this on purpose before I say yes, I know I won’t get distracted and best of all, I won’t have to go back on my commitments!”

Steadfast commitment shapes who you are becoming. Like it or not, “day by day, what you choose, what you think and what you do is who you become” (Heraclitus). So, what you say NO to is just as important as what you say yes to.

Steadfast commitment proceeds achievement. The secret to staying on course is cultivating long obedience in the right direction. Your future successes and failures are rooted in the daily rhythms you commit to, so instead of prioritising your schedule, start scheduling your priorities.

So, in what direction are your commitments taking you?

Notice

1. Audit your calendar and finances

• Jot down and analyse where you invest your time, talent and treasure.
• Pay attention to the daily, weekly, and monthly life rhythms you are naturing and ask yourself who or what am I serving here, to what end, and at what cost?

Recognise

2. What are your unique life rhythms?

• Start by listing your current commitments under categories (daily, weekly, monthly).
• What desires (connection, stability, achievement, and competence) do these commitments fulfil?  
• Now list the commitments you want to prioritise and see if they match your current commitments. The key is choosing a few things you can do well repeatedly. Matthew McConaughey, for example, says he sets out to do three things daily:
  • Look up — he looks up to God and calls it a scientific fact that gratitude reciprocates.
  • Look forward — seeing his family; that’s who and what he looks forward to.
  • Chase —his hero, that’s him ten years into the future.

Reset

3. Replace one or two unhealthy habits with better habits.

Research shows that replacing unhealthy behavioural patterns with better patterns is the best way to change them.

• Choose habits that are going to work for you.
• Rate your level of commitment. On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 = non-committal and 10 = committed to doing whatever it takes for however long), what is your level of commitment?
• If your rating isn’t very high, consider how you can increase it by including the following:
  • Personal – what must you do to maintain or become more motivated and committed to this habit?
  • Social – how might you harness positive peer pressure?
  • Spiritual – what Biblical stories or Scriptural passages can you draw on?
  • Structural (rewards and conditions) – what life conditions will this habit improve?
• Start visualising and anticipating what it would look, sound, and feel like to incorporate those new habits into your daily/weekly/monthly rhythm. Play it over and over again in your mind.
• Keep finding ways to improve your life rhythms.