Leading the World by Supporting Christian Coaching

Breaking the Communication Code

by Dr. Rich Weigel

As Christian coaches we have been taught to be good listeners. There is wisdom in our ability to listen much and speak only when necessary.
James 1:19 – Dear brothers, don’t ever forget that it is best to listen much, speak little, and not become angry.

Working with other people means learning their communication code. I will assume that you’ve heard the axiom that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Well, perhaps we are all coming from some distant planet because different people can hear the same idea or information and interpret it in very different ways. It’s as if each person is speaking their native language and everyone else is struggling to interpret.

Conflicts often begin when people focus on themselves, their wants, or their perspective that they are right and it’s the other person who’s always wrong. As the lyrics from a song by the 60’s group, Buffalo Springfield, says, “Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong.” To avoid conflicts, there is a need for someone to be a great listener and while listening, to crack the communication code. That certainly sounds like the skills of a Christian coach.

As Christian coaches we have a built-in communication code translator that many others don’t have. Our translator hears what others say and quickly interprets it to understand what is truly being said. It also works on what we say so that the hearer will more often receive our message accurately the first time. What is that translator? It is the love of God in our hearts. Whenever we listen to others with the love of God in our hearts, we can hear what is truly being said. Whenever we speak to others with the love of God in our hearts, what we say can have an impact that goes beyond our words. That is when our coaching takes on another layer, a spiritual layer, that can provide help, warmth, encouragement, support, and guidance that transcends words.
Colossians 4:6 – Let your conversation be gracious as well as sensible, for then you will have the right answer for everyone.

As Christian coaches we should never be complacent about our ability to communicate effectively. To be our best for others we should practice using our communication code translator by listening carefully, integrate their words, connect with their feelings, demonstrate interest, be empathetic, seek clarity, and most importantly, be truly caring about others with the love of God in our hearts. That is building our coaching benchmarks with a Christian flare for emphasis.
John 3:21 (NASB) – But he who practices the truth comes to the Light, so that his deeds may be manifested as having been wrought in God.”

There is an art on how you say things. Many times, I have told people, “It’s not what you say, but how you say it.” Behind that adage is a simple truth from God’s word. What is in your heart will come out of your mouth. (FYI – It happens in written form too.) Unless you are a very good liar, (which is exactly what you don’t want to be), it’s the love of God in your heart that will translate how your words sound to others. And you are the only person who has the control of what is in your heart. Put another way, only you can control the communication code translator.
Luke 6:45 – A good man produces good deeds from a good heart. And an evil man produces evil deeds from his hidden wickedness. Whatever is in the heart overflows into speech.

As Christian coaches, how we communicate does make a difference. There is an “art” to quality communication, and YOU are a Christian artist.

What are your thoughts about quality Christian communication? Email me at proedcoach@gmail.com if you want to continue the conversation.

[author] [author_image timthumb=’on’]https://christiancoaches.com/wp-content/uploads/et_temp/Rich-Weigel-27390_60x60.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]Rich Weigel has an extensive background in leadership with over twenty years leading school districts. In addition to establishing his new business as an Executive and Leadership coach, he is an adjunct professor for Olivet Nazarene University providing instruction for Strategic Leadership at the doctorate level. Rich is currently serving as CCNI’s President.

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